Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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