he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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