my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
