To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
