If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
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