he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
