i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
