Fine. I'll sleep in my office
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
