my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
