Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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