Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
