Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
