so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
