I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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