i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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