Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
