508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
