4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize