i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
