Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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