need another drink. this is the easiest way
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
