I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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