He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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