I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
