we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
