why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
