I'm lost and stupid without you.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well I just put wine in my tea
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize