doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
And then he peed in my hair
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