The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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