Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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