someone get that fucking seahorse.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
