If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
