...so i touched it.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize