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i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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