hotel room ftw
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
