is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
