Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
why is half of my head shaved?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
