Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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