I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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