I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
