whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
