a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
