haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
