how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
