Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize