I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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