my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
