I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
