U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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