yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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