Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
