She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
