he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
